Words From Mom; Jenna’s Story Shattered by Religious, Emotional Abuse #LGBTQ

Jenna’s Story is someone I’ve known to be courageous in her daily fight to be true to herself as a member of the LGBTQ community.

Disclosure of names have been edited to remain anonymous; to protect individuals from discrimination.


Jenna’s Story can be found inParallel Waterfront” Part Two “Storm Chaser” available soon at Amazon and Barnes and Noble in ebook and paperback.

Not long ago many organizations began to acknowledge the long term damaging effect of words in power of religious abuse towards LGBTQ Communities; to treat people of LGBTQ Community in a religious movement as an “evil spirit addiction” that needed to be cleansed, repent of great sins, to rid bad spirits of great evil; to go as far to chant in what one would be called to “Chant in Religious Tongue” in a sole purpose to rid the demons . The “Strong Hold Effect” they call it in some religious groups of faith is a way to tear down the fabric of one’s emotional and physical wellbeing, to treat people of LGBTQ as people in need of saving of their soul.

This wouldn’t be considered a traditional prayer group because it requires members to prayer chant among other religious members as well to chant in a circle over someone who identifies themselves as LGBTQ without permission from the individual to rid something they are compelled to remove like demons in circumstances that resemble an exorcism.

The Human Rights Campaign Link to Conversation Therapy carries similar situation as to Jenna’s Story.

https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy

“The Lies and Dangers of Efforts to Change Sexual Orientation or Gender Identity”

So-called “conversion therapy,” sometimes known as “reparative therapy,” is a range of dangerous and discredited practices that falsely claim to change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity or expression. Such practices have been rejected by every mainstream medical and mental health organization for decades, but due to continuing discrimination and societal bias against LGBTQ people, some practitioners continue to conduct conversion therapy. Minors are especially vulnerable, and conversion therapy can lead to depression, anxiety, drug use, homelessness, and suicide.

To date, Connecticut, California, Nevada, New Jersey, the District of Columbia, Oregon, Illinois, Vermont, New York, New Mexico, Rhode Island, Washington, Maryland, Hawaii, New Hampshire and Delaware all have laws or regulations protecting youth from this abusive practice. A growing number of municipalities have also enacted similar protections, including cities and counties in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Washington, Florida, New York, Arizona, Wisconsin and other States soon Followed. 

In August of 2013, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals upheld California’s law, which was signed by Democratic Governor Jerry Brown in 2012. In May of 2015 and again in February of 2016, the United States Supreme Court let stand decisions of the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals upholding New Jersey’s law, which was signed by Republican Governor Chris Christie in August of 2013. In February of 2015, a NJ Superior Court judge ruled that misrepresenting homosexuality as a disorder violates the state’s consumer protection laws. Additionally, in June of 2015, the jury in that case found a conversion therapy provider liable for consumer fraud and ordered the provider to pay the plaintiffs for refunds and damages.

In February 2016, the Human Rights Campaign, National Center for Lesbian Rights, and Southern Poverty Law Center filed a consumer fraud complaint with the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) against People Can Change, a major provider of conversion therapy. The complaint alleges that People Can Change’s advertisements and business practices which claim they can change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity constitute deceptive, false, and misleading practices and can cause serious harm to consumers, all in direct violation of Section 5 of the Federal Trade Commission Act. The complaint urges the FTC to take enforcement action to stop these deceptive practices and investigate all practitioners making similar claims.

Some right-wing religious groups promote the concept that an individual can change their sexual orientation or gender identity, either through prayer or other religious efforts, or through so-called “reparative” or “conversion” therapy. The research on such efforts has disproven their efficacy, and also has indicated that they can be affirmatively harmful. Beyond studies focused solely on reparative therapy, broader research clearly demonstrates the significant harm that societal prejudice and family rejection has on lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) people, particularly youth. Furthermore, there is significant anecdotal evidence of harm to LGBTQ people resulting from attempts to change their sexual orientation and gender identity. Based on this body of evidence, every major medical and mental health organization in the United States has issued a statement condemning the use of conversion therapy.

To continue reading article follow link provided above.

You can find more on list of government, nonprofit, and well establed members of community didicate in their own words against the dangers of conversion therapy.

Jenna’s pleas to connect with her mother with an overabundance amount of strain to have a better relationship becomes bitter as if her love for LGBTQ is branded by her mom obsession and compulsions to rid demons.

Jenna

You are lowering my self esteem. I feel like committing suicide because of it. I can’t take anymore stress. You know my struggles. Its affecting my job and my self-worth. If I could change who I am don’t you think I would? All the hatred in this world, why would I want to be a target of hatred? Why can’t you just love me for who I am?Your prayer group dictates every decision you makes. Don’t let this church destroy the loving heart felt mother I use to have. Saying you love me are simply words that don’t speak from heartfelt emotions. You use to validate my feelings. The time we use to spend together are gone. You pushed me away because of who I am.

Words from Mom 

I’m very concerned about your talk of suicide. Your trying to change your god given image into something it’s not! Thoughts of suicide are caused by trying to be something that you cannot attain. Jerimiah 29:11 tells us the moment we are born God has a plan for us. Honey when you change the plan and can’t succeed you open the door to the enemy to destroy you.  John 10:9-10. Regardless of what your going thru Jenna I will never stop loving you and for you. Please don’t be mad but I must stop enabling your homosexual life. I will pray for you to lead the righteous path to our Lord Jesus Christ. I will pray for you to find the Lord, claim it and repent for your sins.

Words from mom

Jenna, I spent time in the word putting things together to you. My dear friend has the message bible and I liked it and used it, so I bought one for you, and along with that sent you the book about “Strong Holds”. These books and the letter were sent to you from my heart to yours to try to help you. You took them to a secular counselor who doesn’t know the Lord so of course he says ” it’s not the way to do it”. Do you really think he loves you more than I do?

You can’t ask me to stop loving you! But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds, the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them.  2 Corinthians 4:3&4

Jenna

I gave all the letters and box you sent to me to my counselor. The first letter he read he looked at me with empathy. Shoving bible versus down my throat only hurts me more. My counselor was worried that the energy I put into you just loving me for who I am is making me depressed and suicidal.

All bibles say they were edited from original bible and that God is great loving God who also forgives everyone. Why do you keep insinuating that I’m going to hell? We all sin and you are judging me even though you tell me your judging the sin, not me? God said “judge others and you will be judged the same. Christ died for our sins. Through Christ we are washed of our sins. All those believe will pass through the gates of heaven through Jesus Christ.

Words from mom

Jenna, it deeply hurt me for you to say that I’m judging you and not the sin. Your flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone. Knowing you lost your eternity as the wages of sin is spiritual death. Romans 6:23 How could I stop loving you and praying for you? Jesus loved the sinner but judged the sin. Matt 23:13-33 How else can you reconcile unless you understand that Jesus loved the sinner but judged the sin. I know how confused you you must repent, accept the Lord Jesus Christ.

Words from writer

Jenna came to me with the box of stuff her sent her, a bible, the book on strong holds and a pamphlet on conversion therapy. In spit of all Jenna’s efforts have her mom to love her unconditionally for who she is she hasn’t succeeded. If anything her mom treats her as if her love for me as a lesbian couple is an sinful addiction, banning any contact or desire for validation and love unconditionally. Every contact is screened through text and ends with the prayer group and we/I will pray for you.

Words from writer

We decided in that moment to place the bible, the stronghold book and the conversion therapy pamphlet back in the box. We then placed a copy of the Human Rights Campaign article and affidavits regarding conversation therapy into the box along with the items sent to Jenna and mailed it back to her mom. We felt very much validated from our community.

Words from writer

I’ve found myself pacing around the house in hurt and anger on many occasions. I’ve heard more than my share of bible verses from Jenna’s mom than I’ve done my whole life. This whole concept of religious moral freedom I admit, I get agitated at times thinking about all this saying to myself “hasn’t Jenna suffered enough?” How could her mom do this to her? All this nonsense of strongholds. Why can’t she just love Jenna for who she is, her daughter they have to pray and chant over.”I burn some of my frustrations hiking or walking parks because it’s impacts me to know I am a target of this religious notion, I’m labled, I too have been told I have demons and bad spirits in me because I choose love? Because I chose to love Jenna for who she is, that I have become a problem to the strongholds, not a solution? Because I have the sin of many bad spirits that enabled these homosexual sins? That their strongholds chants and prayers have to work harder because of me?I found myself on many occasions wondering “who made them the righteous leaders of all religions? What makes their religious beliefs more true than others? There’s so many different bible versions out there. What makes one more to the true gospel than another?”

But one thing I’m certain is Jenna is a great person, with great spirit and loves unconditionally. She certainly is quite the crusader.

Marsha

If we agree, then why are we arguing?

If we agree, then why are we arguing?

[Locked in different brain patterns of thinking can cause quite a headache if not conscientiously aware enough to stop it in its tracks…]

Communication errors that we sometimes overlook can cause a lot of misfortune, misunderstandings that sometimes were never there to begin with.

Why should 2+2=4 more so than 1+3?

There is no burden of truth nor a right or wrong answer.

This might seem pretty simple right?

Vehicle’s and communication can carry some very similar factors.

Your vehicle may be making some strange noises, rattling or perhaps guzzling gas and you’re wondering what to do? Do you sit with these strange noises? Let it keep rattling till it drives you crazy. Perhaps the gas is burning more than it should and it becomes rather bothersome.

Communication in relationships can be very similar to vehicle. Now you’re probably thinking “what on earth are you talking about?” Maybe one might be intrigued by this scenario and as I continue as not all things appear the same.

Countless times I’ve found myself arguing over something that I may have agree upon but then got hung up on communication barriers, saying the same thing but five different ways.

Catching these moments where communication shouldn’t seem so difficult can be harder than it may seem when you come upon someone whom may not have the same thinking pattern.

Our thought process are unique to our own individuality…

I often reference the word “Brain lock” in my writing because this is what our brains do at times. This doesn’t reflect right nor wrong, it doesn’t reflect intelligence, nor a person’s character. Simply said is we are all a reflection to ourselves, how we perceive things in life, thought patterns that may signify who we are.

Our brain chemistry are hardwire in such divine ways that no one thought pattern is the same, only similarities carry common factors.

Neurotransmitters in our bodies have always been intriguing because even the slightest change in a person’s diet can send one into a tailspin when it comes to changes in mood and our bodies.

We carry more neurotransmitters (at times called your second brain) in our stomach, our digestive track than we do in our brains. Our bodies communicate on various levels from head to toe.

One could have the slightest snarling pain to cause one to become distracted and lose focus. Perhaps a loved one lives with chronic pain because this too may displace communication. Communication is essential to our everyday lives.

I once had the opportunity to sit at a concert next to a woman who had late onset Alzheimer’s and appeared to be unable to communicate. However, something caught my eye and helped me to realize not all things appear to be as what it might seem. There she rested next to me with her feet bobbin to the beat of the song the band was playing.

There are many ways to illustrate communication far and in between…

Just as relationships take time, patience and effort beyond basic understanding. Communication isn’t bias nor a rebound of endless equations that sometimes get us stuck on 2+2 or however 4 may come about.

We are all built on a foundation that requires communication on various levels. No stone can be unturned without willingness to try.

To create a deeper understanding we need to move beyond what we know, find a way to set aside what we know, be willing to listen, ask questions and keep asking until we hear, feel or gradually notice how we may see things from a different perspective.

Communication can be the most daring of truths…

Unlocking the use of our brains can sometimes becomes an habitual state of being, a mode we become accustom to driving on automatic pilot; a comfort zone beyond reasoning, rationalizing and often overlooked.

Whereas at times patterns can wreak havoc in our everyday lives without a second guess as to why things appear to stay the same.

Just as vehicles can become unmanageable; mimic different reasoning’s as we begin to explore the idea of how complex the problem might be. While your vehicle may be making some strange noises, rattling or perhaps guzzling gas and you’re wondering what to do?

One might begin to ponder on the vehicles condition, become fixated, annoyed and agonized endlessly or become clueless beyond recognizing what might otherwise become in some sort reality or some versions of truth.

Now let’s imagine this car is someone significant in your life….

Your brain has been working overtime…

The car is a metaphor…

Or maybe one might still be pondering?…

Whereas there is nothing more divine than versions of truths or doubts within communication in itself…

However the answers may at times become willingness to be open to someone else’s versions of truth…

Because it is often quoted “there are three versions of truth”…

MB

FeaturedForgiveness versus Acceptance; Catalyst of Unhealthy Guilt

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“Catalyst of Unhealthy Guilt”

It is often said that forgiveness is a healing process, healing within itself is for those who seek it. Forgiveness can be the ultimate sacrifice one does to alleviate pains of sorrow. A sorrow so deep at times it can feel unbearable until one can release this pain.

Then there is another kind of forgiveness that we sometimes seek that can drive a wedge between those we love. The “unhealthy guilt” , sometimes called “Irrational guilt”, where we mistakenly take on unhealthy guilt because the pain can feel horrendous. Pain that can be misplaced where one can only assume this to be true if we didn’t recognize the difference.

[In other terms this can be best described as “Irrational guilt” that leads to “doubts about oneself” and “irrational shame” that is displaced. Hallmark features for Anxiety and OCD.]

When we don’t know the difference between healthy forgiveness versus unhealthy, irrational guilt we may unintentionally place a wedge between those we love.

The catalyst of unhealthy guilt; the straw that broke the camel’s back…

Before we go further one must ask themselves,

· Why am I seeking forgiveness?
· What do I wish to gain when asking for forgiveness?
· What action do I wish to receive from someone else in return?
· When does asking for forgiveness become too much?

 

The healing of our own emotions can only be done through first healing ourselves.

This is especially true if you have carried the burdens of unhealthy guilt. But many similar emotions we feel can lead to unhealthy guilt if one suffers from grief or loss, anxiety, depression, etc. But grieving a loss does not necessarily mean the death of a love one.

There are many factors in life where one may grieve and most often related to unresolved emotions steaming from circumstances beyond control.

Where we feel this lack of control in our lives may become the hindering compulsive action we seek externally. Like any reactions, unhealthy guilt can feed into the notion that what we are feeling or what we might be saying to ourselves must be true.

The catalyst of an unhealthy guilt can lead to years of chaos in our lives if we do not seek the underline source of our emotions.

Unhealthy guilt leads like an addiction and spreads like wildfire through the trees and plains that have become out of control.

Perhaps there were times one found themselves apologizing over-and-over asking for forgiveness believing past circumstances warranted this to be factual right down to the core of one’s conscience state of mind.

In many stages of unhealthy forgiveness or irrational thinking one may convinces themselves at times to being repetitive in nature to sorrows and notions within thought. Perhaps one may become consumed by the “what ifs” in thoughts of sorrows, unhealthy guilt and/or self-doubts.

This combo is like mixing magnesium sulfate and carbonated beverages. Sooner or later it will explode.

[Most importantly, sometimes thoughts serve no other purpose than to simply be thoughts.]

There comes a time in a person life that one may need to reexamine the situation and ask themselves “why is it that I feel so compelled to seek forgiveness?”

People generally don’t like to live in past tense and at times this pattern of behavior can hinder one’s ability to move forward into a healthier state of mind.

Is it possible for one to misinterpret such compelling words by repeating the same thing to such great overabundance?

Absolutely, this can happen for several different reasons. Communication can drive a wedge when we misunderstand our own thoughts process. At times repeating actions or obsessively thinking, ruminating or having pressurized thinking to reassure patterns of behavior.

Obsessive or irrational thoughts/actions can drive a person away like salt on open wounds; the instability of irrational guilt’s, leaving feelings of hopeless about situations.

This kind of repetitive behavior often creates problems by stirring up emotions that may carry very little value because why else would we ruminate such things that make us miserable.

However just like an addiction, unhealthy guilt can become an unhealthy behavior. There have been many discoveries through science and psychology where proven the pathways to our brains can change when we change our actions. This is especially true to changing behaviors. Like any addiction or habit the changes start within.

As many addictions and mental health situations, they are not always circumstantial, nor do them fade without changes we make within ourselves but rather things may become much more manageable as time passes.

But only through time can we see these changes as they accrue.

Most often great changes can take years to accomplish as we begin recognize what it is we are trying to change. The same is true for unhealthy guilt.

You cannot make up for lost time, nor can a person change what has already been done. The only thing we have in our lives where we can maintain control are our own emotions, thoughts and our own actions. Healthier choices will lead us down a path of willingness to maintain control of our destiny.

It’s those choices we make now, currently in plain view that where we may come to embrace our future. Like any kind of addiction, unhealthy guilt comes with emotional pain; where there is uncertainty there is fear and fear can be a powerful motivator.

Time doesn’t stand still for anyone and neither should you. When we learn to let go unhealthy, irrational guilt, the chain may become undone and one may no longer be hindered by the inability to move forward but rather we gain insight.

Marsha Beede

FeaturedHow Successful Was The Ice Bucket Challenge?

The ALS Phenomenon; The Ice Bucket Challenge went viral on social media during July–August 2014.

The Ice Bucket Challenge, sometimes called the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, was an activity involving the dumping of a bucket of ice and water over a person’s head, either by another person or self-administered, to promote awareness of the disease amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS, also known as motor neurone disease and in the US as Lou Gehrig’s disease) and encourage donations to research.

Within 24 hours of being challenged, participants had to record a video of themselves in continuous footage. First, they were to announce their acceptance of the challenge, followed by pouring ice into a bucket of water. Then, the bucket was to be lifted and poured over the participant’s head. Then the participant could nominate a minimum of three other people to participate in the challenge.

Within weeks of the challenge going viral, The New York Times reported that the ALS Association had received $41.8 million in donations from more than 739,000 new donors from July 29 until August 21, more than double the $19.4 million the association received during the year that ended January 31, 2013.

On August 29, the ALS Association announced that their total donations since July 29 had exceeded $100 million.The ALS Association is just one of several ALS-related charities that have benefited from the challenge. However, it was reported that the 2015 challenge had raised $500,000 as compared with the $115 million raised by the 2014 challenge. The final figure was reported by the ALS Association in mid-October as being $1,000,000, with a survey by health analysts Treato showing that only 14% of donors from 2014 donated again in 2015

In July 2015, it was reported on the ALS Association’s summary of how the funds raised through the Ice Bucket Challenge were distributed. By percentage, 67% of all funds (about $77 million) went to research, 20% to patient and community services, 9% to public and professional.

MB

FeaturedSpirituality; Power of Persuasion

“Spirituality; Power of Persuasion”

Aristotle Wrote:
“All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion and desire”

Spirituality as we know comes in many forms through core values, exposure, personalization, ethnic, culture, religion, beliefs, etc.

Spirituality is within a person’s inner source, intuitive thoughts and how one might perceive things in life.

Elements within a person’s core values may reflect traditional methods through integration and/or congregation within one’s own habitat. One may choose to surround themselves in a manner of how one perceives life’s spiritual values.

Where the wheel spins within ones thoughts and human behavior, actions form in regards as to how a person responds to circumstances in life and at times bring more spirituality into life in such divine ways.

Cause & Effect:

Circumstances within cause and effect may compellingly choose to respond with or without engaging in some form of action. Cause and effect may acknowledge its existence in an underlining source subconsciously.

Through subconscious awareness one may link in some sort of inner source; connective thoughts lay down a foundation of complexity placed within itself. Sometimes collective thoughts may form visions about life, one where most people are better in the abstract of a mindset formation as to how one wishes things to be.

However disarray may at times mimic a cluster of personal distress and how one function in everyday life. At times during emotional distress one might feel as life has become an avalanche.

One where everyday stress may build-and-build until it all unfolds; pours out in a colossal mess…

Finding Balance:

Cause and effect through turbulent emotions may at times linger or fester and lead to explosive reactions when things to become bothersome.

Someone once said “it comes in a can.” This implies at times one can become stuck reminiscing, ruminating and over-thinking situations by setting the stage and making things appears worse than they really are. This at times this may create problems that were never there to begin with. Almost as if one were to mix magnesium sulfate with soda to calm a storm.

However, staying in the present moment and not allowing things to unfold in the heat of moment can lead to more positive outcomes. But also learning to stay mindful with reminders to not let things become bothersome and spiral downward by placing defensive reactions out of an alarming emotional response. Reminders to not to over-think; explaining the same thing 5 different ways.

Finding balance in life will be the most beneficial element to achieving respite within. Most of us will spend a lifetime searching for this. Life doesn’t come with instructions and neither does balancing our everyday lives. But through our own trial and error we can adopt readiness guided by willingness to make personal change.

Conditioned to Crisis:

A crisis can condition a person to stray far from stabilization in any manner within cause and effect, creating an avalanche effect that may continue to build regardless.

Many individuals at one time or another have come across circumstances in their lives that sent them on a mission in an overwhelming emotional state. This doesn’t necessarily change or modify another person’s elevated emotional state of mind, but rather dysfunction may occur.

One may at times mimic or draw conclusions to reflect on their own emotional response, conditioned through a belief system right down to personal and core values.

One may find within their own personal habitat that their own state of mind may react spontaneously to a crisis mode (often referred to as a rescue mode).

Perhaps worrisome thoughts have captured an emotional response and created a downward spiral of emotions flooding in a state of panic towards one’s spouse, family member or a loved one. In a state of panic (rescue mode) to rid unwanted emotions or problem solve we sometimes become compelled in stressful situations to place ourselves in the driver’s seat of a vehicle, only to find that one is in overdrive with their foot floored to the gas pedal based in a state of fear to React! Respond! Do Something!

The Impact Effect:

Many individuals at one time or another have come across circumstances in their lives that sent them on a mission prompted by emotional state of reaction to current events.

At times current events may have unfolded in our community or around the world, leaving a reaction of overwhelming emotional response prompted by chain of events. The cause and effect reactions to how one may feel about presumable actions or a crisis in current events that may prompt a reaction within one’s own emotional state of being.

Unfortunately prompted in a crisis mode in current events we may at times unintentionally create more havoc.

 Spirituality in the Making:

Perhaps a loved one has been ill with a serious medical condition and you find yourself facing fears head on. Maybe it’s a friend having a difficult time managing his/hers mental health distress or perhaps it is someone close to you fighting a drug/alcohol addiction and you feel absolutely powerless to do anything.

In any state of being it can be difficult to carry someone close to one’s heart who inflicts emotional harm onto themselves or others, leaving one to be unable to receive a healthier connection.

In some cases where one’s spiritual beliefs may be in distress and broken down. It can be difficult for a loved one to comprehend the impact of cause and effect. To learn to set aside differences because each person is unique to their own core values when it comes to spirituality.

At times it is necessary to place one’s own spiritual beliefs aside; to be checked in and left at the front door. Individuality creates each person to uniquely define their own core values; their own belief system.

At times ones spiritual beliefs may lead one to believe notions through spiritual entity to be the only path in such divine ways. Ultimately by engaging in a sense of notions disagreeable to another may prompt one to create actions that may do more harm than good.

Validation:
Most often relationships become much more wholesome when a person can relate on a more personal level without judgments and lack thereof the use of words that may hinder a person’s ability to feel validation.

Validation is crucial part of communication when it comes to a healthier connection, whereas one being empathetic in comparison isn’t because it may become misguided words.

Things in life aren’t intended to be all-or-nothing; black-or-white. There are many shades of gray to lay down a healthy foundation in one’s life.

Spirituality Right Down to the Core:

If I were to use addiction as an example with someone struggling to find reasons to believe things will get better. Most often a person’s addiction can spiral into a path of destruction, leaving one’s self-worth, personal core values to plummet downward.

One’s spirituality may have already been hindered collectively through emotional duress without the ability to reason and/or see things differently.

For some spirituality may falter so far that even an avalanche couldn’t persuade one to find shelter.

Quote:

“It is often said when it comes to addictions, mental illness, health conditions one may strive at a bare minimal in times of struggles. One’s ability to maintain a faction of hope strays far, just enough to keep a person on solid ground and living moment-by-moment in any given circumstances where there are shadows of doubts…”

Marsha Beede